I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
