I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
