I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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