your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
whose parrot is this?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
