apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
3pm strippers are depressing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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