roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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