im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
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