Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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