escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
