You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize