nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
