Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
