And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
