Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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