idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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