Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
