with your own penis?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
