Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize