just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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