New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
