she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.