my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
