no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
