I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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