I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."