Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
