Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  toast her oven

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  toast her strudel

  (248): View more from Michigan

  inspect her gadget

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  (248): toast her oven (1-248): toast her strudel (248): inspect her gadget http://tfl.nu/ri0n
  Replies (7) Good night (2598) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob

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  (415): oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob http://tfl.nu/u9lt
  Replies (3) Good night (3041) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (2244) Bad night (2443)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

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  (574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez
  Replies (24) Good night (1238) Bad night (7250)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5523) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

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  (484): You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?" http://tfl.nu/prc0
  Replies (8) Good night (3652) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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  (603): I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning. http://tfl.nu/y7jt
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times

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  (508): If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times http://tfl.nu/rglo
  Replies (7) Good night (3063) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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  (303): Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text http://tfl.nu/3l29
  Replies (9) Good night (594) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

  (831): View more from California

  You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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  (408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43
  Replies (6) Good night (802) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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  (734): I just commented on the education level of his penis. http://tfl.nu/tupj
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

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  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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  (619): I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs. http://tfl.nu/h2q5
  Replies (5) Good night (675) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm

  (561): View more from Florida

  Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots

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  (561): In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm (561): Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots http://tfl.nu/w2ja
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.

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  (204): As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry. http://tfl.nu/4c2f
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (254)

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