Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize