yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
