We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize