I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
