I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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