While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
