Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she smelled like a LAN party
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.