Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (684) Bad night (2311) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (425) Bad night (3418) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time

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  (248): I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time http://tfl.nu/04o8
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (3277) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town

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  (320): I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town http://tfl.nu/1n02
  Replies (32) Good night (4010) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

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  (417): I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked http://tfl.nu/4oxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3643) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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  (217): I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel. http://tfl.nu/8hwr
  Replies (5) Good night (2131) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami

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  (+44): he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami http://tfl.nu/r6ze
  Replies (22) Good night (1059) Bad night (3768) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4427) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2197) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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  (253): The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case. http://tfl.nu/nkd8
  Replies (2) Good night (2008) Bad night (920)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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  (303): just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room. http://tfl.nu/ss1c
  Replies (19) Good night (2483) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.

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  (239): I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/tffx
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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  (760): drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care http://tfl.nu/5385
  Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....

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  (605): But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday.... http://tfl.nu/rigs
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (560): View more from

  I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.

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  (560): I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do. http://tfl.nu/yx9v
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt

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