I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
