Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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