so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
