I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
