A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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