she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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