And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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