I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think my moral compass just broke
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
