So drunk, too bad you don't want this
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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