Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were destined to go to rehab together
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
