I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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