Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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