are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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