You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
