Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
