Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
