I hate your face
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
