Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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