haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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