sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize