so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
