do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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