Where is the hickey?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
