You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
