Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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