hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
