what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
