Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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