Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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