i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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