I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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