It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
