so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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