: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
