tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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